Full Metal Psycho
Nighttime.
A man is passed out in his car.
He wakes up, gets out, and looks around.
Confused, he gets back in.
He notices a phone on the dash, the GPS is set to the Rising Sun bar.
A picture of an attractive blond is attached to the visor.
He begins driving, follows the GPS.
He drives for a very long time.
Drives forever.
And arrives at the Rising Sun.
The bar is empty except for a blond bar tender.
In the corner is a dusty old VR arcade machine "Polybius"
He puts a quarter in and straps on the gloves and head set.
immediately loses.
Tries again.
Loses.
Again.
Loses.
Again and again and again.
Loses every time, never making it more than a few seconds into the game.
Another man enters.
He sits at the bar with blond, flips player a coin.
Player tries again.
This time the game is different.
An odd shape appears on the screen.
Players head begins to hurt, he can't make sense of what he's seeing on the screen.
A message pops up "destroy the hypercube"
Player tries to manipulate the odd looking shape but can't move it.
The pain in players head begins to grow, his eyes bleed.
Suddenly, the hypercube shifts on the W axis.
An immense amount of energy emanates from the cube.
Player is blinded by the energy but remains focused on the cube.
Players mind warps and he tears the cube in half.
The energy dissipates, players vision returns.
He removes the headset and is greeted with a prize.
A simple game over screen.
Furious, player begins kicking and punching the machine.
A slot on the front of the machine opens and a small box falls out.
Player removes the severed ear necklace hidden inside.
It begins talking to him.
"Hello, Wayne, I've been waiting for you."
27 years later.
A man is driving down a deserted desert highway in a military style Jeep.
He sings along with the song on the radio.
"AIN'T FOUND A WAY TO KILL ME, YET!! ."
He pauses and takes a swig from his bottle of whiskey, grabs his necklace, and speaks into the severed ear that hangs from it.
"Can you hear me now?"
He smiles and looks into the Jeeps mirror.
"I don't think he can hear me."
A voice comes on the radio, interrupting the song.
"Rooster, your mission, should you choose to except it. Locate and eliminate Neo Nazi Leader Pink. Recruit some help from the local barracks, good luck."
The song continues playing.
"YEAH! HERE COMES THE ROOSTER!!!!
The Jeep arrives at the barracks, recruits are outside doing PT.
Rooster approaches, yelling, always yelling.
He walks up to a group doing pull ups.
"YOU FUCKING CUNTS LOOK LIKE A GAGGLE OF GORILLAS TRYING TO FISTFUCK EACH OTHERS ASSHOLES OUT HERE!!"
Rooster looks at one of the recruits, points out into the desert, and says
"LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE!! THERE'S DIRT EVERYWHERE! GO GET A FUCKING GOAT AND START SWEEPING!"
One of them smiles, Rooster gets in his face.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMILING AT!? YOU THINK I'M SOME SORT OF CLOWN?! I'LL SHOW YOU A CLOWN WHEN I'M PULLING YOUR FUCKING OVERIES OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE!! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!"
The recruit drops to the ground and starts doing pushups.
Rooster stands on his back and starts counting.
"ONE!! TWO!! TWENTY!!"
Rooster quickly hops off his back.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING ON THE GROUND, PRIVATE?! THERE'S TEN THOUSAND FUCKING NAZI’S BEARING DOWN ON YOUR POSITION AND YOUR TAKING A FUCKING NAP!?"
Rooster lays down next to him, face to face, with his hands in his pockets.
"THERE'S TEN THOUSAND NAZI’S FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS RIGHT NOW!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, PRIVATE!?"
"I don't know, Sir."
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, I DON'T KNOW!? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID PRIVATE!?"
"I don't know, Sir."
Rooster stands up.
The recruit is still laying down.
GET THE FUCK UP OFF THE GROUND PRIVATE!!
The recruit finally gets up off the ground.
Rooster gets in his face.
"YOU'RE ABOUT AS FUCKING USEFUL AS A GOATEE ON A MARSUPIALS ASSHOLE!!"
"Thank you, Sir."
"I'VE GOT A FUCKING ZIT ON MY DICK THAT'S A BETTER SOLDIER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!!"
"Thank you, Sir."
"YOU'VE GOT ABOUT TWO MORE FUCKING SECONDS BEFORE I'M GONNA CRAM MY FIST SO FAR UP YOUR ASSHOLE, 9 GENERATIONS OF LITTLE RETARDS, with your name on 'em, ARE GONNA BE SHITTIN' MY KNUCKLES!!"
"Thank you, Sir."
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME PRIVATE!?"
"Pyle, Sir."
"GET IN THE FUCKING JEEP, PYLE!"
Pyle gets in the jeep.
Rooster gets in and grabs a hold of the Jeeps mirror, starts yelling into it.
"IS THIS A GOOD MISSION, SERGEANT? IT'S A GREAT FUCKING MISSION! NAZIS ARE SCUM! IM GONNA GRAB THAT PINK AND CRAM MY DICK RIGHT DOWN HIS THROAT!"
Rooster pulls out his side arm.
"YOU LIKE MY EXQUISITE DICK, PINK!? YOU LIKE MY ERECTION SELECTION!? YOU GUN TAKE IT?! YOU GUN TAKE IT?!
Rooster shoots into the air.
I'M GUN PUTS MY DICK IN! I'M GUN GET IT ALL UP IN YA! I'M GUN CRAM MY DICK RIGHT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT AND BLOW YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF YOUR FUCKING SHOULDERS!!
Pyle looks terrified.
Rooster pulled the mirror off the window and fell out of the jeep while yelling all that. Continued staring into the mirror the whole time.
Rooster gets back into the jeep, throws mirror.
The dynamic duo speed off.
The road twists like a dying snake, Rooster takes each curve sideways, tires shrieking, engine spitting fire.
He throws the truck into a drift so hard it scrapes bark off trees.
The back end fish-tails over a root-choked bridge.
They approach a jungle.
Enemy fire can be heard in the distance, artillery fire is raining down all around them, each one a punctuation mark of doom.
One hits a hill beside them.
Dirt and flame erupt skyward.
Rooster glances down at his severed ear necklace.
The pale flesh twitches slightly, veins pulsing faintly like it’s alive.
A rasping whisper curls in his mind.
“Brake late, cut the corner, eyes open.”
Rooster snarls,
“I don’t need advice from a dead ear.”
But his hands tighten on the wheel, muscles tensing.
The ear squeaks again, almost urgent.
“Left, harder.”
Rooster swerves left, barely missing a fallen log.
The Jeep hops a ditch and lands with a shudder.
The ear pulses brighter, faintly glowing pink.
“Faster, Wayne, they’re closing.”
Rooster bites his lip, the line between flesh and madness is thinning.
He guns the wheel left, hard.
The truck launches off a hill, soaring into the air.
Time slows.
Trees blur past.
Impact.
They land sideways, bounce once, and keep moving.
Pyle says to Rooster:
"Did you know humpback whales can live up to 90 years?"
"WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT IT PYLE!?"
"I just thought that was a neat fact."
"IF YOU WERE ANY MORE FUCKING RETARDED, I'D BE DRIVING A SHORT BUS!!"
"When do I get my gun, sir?"
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NEED A GUN?!"
"Just in case something happens, like what if a bear is eating my dick or something?"
"WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR DICK IN A BEARS MOUTH, PYLE?!"
"Well, I don't know, maybe I accidently pissed on it?."
"UN FUCKING BELEIVABLE!!"
The men come to a river crossing and attempt to cross.
The jeep stalls out.
Rooster pops the hood and jumps out.
He starts hitting something under the hood.
"YOU FUCKING PIG SHIT MOTHER FUCKER!! YOU BETTER START UP RIGHT NOW OR I'M CALLING IN AN AIRSTRIKE ON YOUR ASS!!"
Rooster walks to the back of the jeep and reaches for comms.
Pyle fixes it with a tooth brush and a stick of chewing gum.
Rooster looks at Pyle.
"GOD DAMMIT PYLE!! HOW DOES SOMEONE WITH THE INTELLIGENCE OF A POCKET PUSSY MANAGE TO DO SOMETHING SO FUCKING INGENIOUS!?"
Rooster backs the jeep out of the river, it's too deep.
Pyle quickly slaps together a crude bridge from a blanket and some twigs.
Rooster to Pyle:
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! IF THIS WORKS I'M BUYING YOU THE FINEST TAIWANESE LADY BOY $5 CAN BUY!"
Pyle gets back in the jeep.
Rooster hesitates.
"You good mister Rooster?"
"WHEN YOU'RE BUILT FROM PURE FUCKING EXCELLENCE, SUCH AS MYSELF, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TAKE A MINUTE AND ADJUST YOUR MASSIVE TESTICULARS SO YOU CAN DROP KICK A MOTHER FUCKER WITHOUT PINCHING THEM!!"
Rooster finishes doing..........whatever it is he does.
They take off.
The bridge holds.
Pyle looks rather pleased with himself.
Rooster continues looking like a badass douche bag.
They enter enemy territory.
Entrenched enemy soldiers dominate the landscape.
The jeep pulls over and comes to a stop.
Rooster jumps on comms.
"I NEED AN AIRSTRIKE, NOW!!"
"Roger, air strike inbound."
Rooster waits about 2 seconds then begins yelling into his severed ear.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY AIR SUPPORT!? THE ENEMY IS ENTRENCHED DOWN HERE!! I'VE SEEN BETTER LEADERSHIP AT A TIJUANA DONKEY SHOW!!"
No response.
Waits about 2 more seconds.
"YOU FUCKING RETARDS ARE ABOUT AS USEFUL AS AN ASSHOLE ON A RECIPROCATING SAW!!"
Thousands of enemy soldiers begin firing on their position.
There's so many bullets that a wall of lead races towards them.
Tracer rounds form a giant middle finger in the middle of the wall.
At the last second, Pyle and Rooster dive behind the Jeep and take cover.
The Jeep is shredded by the wall of lead.
The team manages to only take a few grazing shots but get torn up from the shrapnel.
Airstrike arrives, it damn near lands on top of them.
A giant dust cloud obscures vision between the two sides, sounds are masked from a ringing sound produced by the explosion.
Rooster is dazed, he shakes his head and yells "JUST DEAL WITH IT!"
He grabs his rifle and runs into the dust cloud just as more air support arrives.
BRRRRRRTTT!! Most of the enemy soldiers are wiped out by the passing Thunderbolts.
Rooster flips on his thermal imager and picks off the remaining soldiers one by one.
Rooster is ecstatic, he's never felt more alive.
The madness manifests.
He drops his rifle and starts running toward all the dead bodies.
He finds one still alive and guts him like a fish.
He pulls the mans intestines out and drapes them around his neck like some fucked up twisted Mardi Gras beads.
He picks up the body and starts dancing around with it.
An eternal smile has graced Roosters face this entire time.
Pyle has spent this time searching for new transportation and arrives at the tail end of Roosters' performance.
Pyle stares at Rooster in shock.
Rooster notices, stops dancing, and nonchalantly proclaims, "What?"
The duo jump in the new Jeep and take off.
Hours pass and not a word has been spoken.
Rooster, having trouble focusing, motions to Pyle to pull over.
They pull into an old run down village.
Rooster begins to succumb to his wounds and falls out of the jeep.
Pyle runs to Roosters aid.
"Mr. Rooster, now what?"
"GOD DAMMIT PYLE!! I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS WAY TO DIE IN THE FUCKING JUNGLE. STRAP ME TO THE FRONT OF THAT JEEP AND GIVE ME A GUN!!"
Pyle straps Rooster to the front of the jeep with some rusted ass barbed wire.
They take back off.
More enemy soldiers have arrived.
Rooster is taking heavy fire but pics them off one by one.
"I AIN'T GOT TIME TO BE DEAD!"
There's an explosion in front of the jeep, Roosters legs are blown off.
Finally, Pink is spotted in the distance.
Rooster aims.
Click! Out of bullets.
Pyle speeds up, slams into Pink, crushing him between the jeep and a wall.
Pyle is launched head first into the wall, killing him.
Pink is mortally wounded.
Rooster is knocked unconscious.
He awakens in a hospital.
He is badly injured, his legs have been blown off, his arms broken.
He is unable to see, speak, or hear and his breathing is now machine assisted.
A blond nurse enters his room.
"Welcome, we've been expecting you".
The hum of the machinery keeping rooster alive is the only reply she gets.
She leaves the room and Rooster is left alone.
Hours pass, then days, weeks, months.
Until finally a team arrives and begins working on Rooster.
His mangled arms and what little is left of his legs are removed and replaced with some sort of mounting plate.
His bandages are removed and armored plates replace the badly damaged parts of his face.
He is still mostly blind and deaf.
A device has been implanted into his chest, helping him to breath.
He is once again left alone to heal.
Weeks turn into months.
There is nothing rooster can do except think, ponder, and dream.
He ever so slowly drifts further into madness.
The man who was once Rooster no longer exists.
Only a stump, a head, and the madness.
Eventually, the last team arrives and sets to work.
New bio mechanical legs and arms are attached.
Devices to restore his vision, hearing, and speech are installed.
The team finishes up and activates the new Rooster.
He stands and faces one of the workers.
"What have I become?" He asks.
He turns and looks into a mirror.
He smiles and yells.
"I AM A VERY PRETTY HATE MACHINE!!"
GAME OVER
